Installment II

The next morning Mikey’s father left for work very early, as usual. It had started to snow before dawn and the roads were already a mess, but the man never missed work. When Mikey woke up later, he was eager to look out his window to see if it was snowing. There it was! It was so beautiful. Everything was white and the snow was falling hard. School might be closed two days!!! As that thought crossed his mind, he heard a familiar sound. He hadn't heard it for quite some time, but it was unmistakable. His mother was crying in her room…and then she let out a terrible moan. That was new. What was wrong? He went to check on her.

Marge and Cal were already in the room, comforting her. Cal said she was having a heart attack. Marion was trying to call their grandmother, who lived nearby, but they had a party line and someone else was using it. They refused to hang up because they didn't believe there was an emergency. Finally Cal went next door and had the neighbors call an ambulance and the grandmother. It wasn’t easy getting there and back because snow was piling up. They were in the middle of a real blizzard and suddenly the snow wasn’t so beautiful.

Time seemed to stand still as they waited for the ambulance. The more Mikey’s mom moaned the more tense everyone became. The older kids tried to help her stay calm while trying to stay calm themselves. Mikey didn’t know what to do. He ran upstairs to his sisters' bedroom to look out the window for the ambulance. Nothing! When he went back downstairs his mother asked him to rub her back. He started to, but she winced and cried out in pain. That startled Mikey and he started to feel a sense of desperation. It felt like they were trapped. Someone had to DO something!

Fortunately, someone was doing something. Mikey’s family lived on the opposite side of a big hill from the main road. The ambulance had made it as far as the intersection, but couldn't get up the hill. The snow was too deep. Their grandmother called a friend with a plow and the older brothers started to shovel the front sidewalk.

But Mikey knew that was wrong—they never went in or out through the front door, only the back. It was the back sidewalk that needed to be shoveled. So he put on his boots and started to clear it himself. The only shovel they had left was an old metal coal shovel that weighed a ton—it was heavy to Mikey even when he was 18. He managed to clear the steps and a tiny area in front of them, but that was about it. The shovel was too heavy, the snow was falling too fast and the sidewalk was too long. Mikey collapsed on the steps in tears. He had failed. He had failed his mother. It was going to be his fault she didn’t get to the hospital. He was so young, but it felt like he had always been there for her, helping her. He didn’t go to kindergarten because his mom needed him—his siblings said it was because he was too stupid to go to school. They also frequently said it was his fault their mom had been sick. He knew that wasn’t true. But this was his fault, he couldn’t clear the snow. He failed. The word kept repeating in his mind—failed!!!

Defeated, Mikey went back inside and received a shock. The ambulance crew was in the house! They DID get in through the front door—no one ever used that entrance. Ever. That was so strange...and such a relief. (Mikey later realized he hadn’t been thinking clearly. While the front door was never used, it WAS the shortest route to the street.) After a few minutes, the techs were taking his mother out on a stretcher. She stopped them and called Mikey, her baby, over. She asked him for a kiss and then told him she was dying. She also said she loved him. That was the first time anyone in his family had said that to him. It was also the last. Unfortunately, hearing it then meant nothing. He had gone numb. The oldest, Marge, rode in the ambulance, leaving four of them at home. Marion went to the girls’ bedroom and shut the door. Cal went to the boys’ bedroom and did the same. Don was sitting on the couch.

Mikey just stood there, feeling nothing. He had been upset just a few minutes ago out on the back steps. Why didn’t he feel anything now? He knew he should, but he just felt nothing. Once again he wasn't sure what to do, so he decided to copy Don. Don was closest to him in age, so it made sense they would be doing the same thing. He went over to the couch and sat next to him. That lasted about three seconds. Don stood up and punched him four or five times and then went into the bathroom and shut the door. Don had the worst temper in the family.

Mikey stayed on the couch, watching the snow through the window. The house was silent. He thought about how cold it was in the room. He was cold and alone. There were other people in the house, but he felt completely alone. He found himself wishing he knew how to work the furnace. He couldn't bring himself to think about his mom.

Installment I

Mikey snuggled under his blankets, getting ready for sleep. He couldn’t help smiling and thinking how great things were. His little cot never felt so good. School was cancelled for tomorrow because of an expected blizzard (it was January). Even to a first grader that was happy news. But there was something else. His mom had added an army blanket on top of his regular blanket because it was supposed to be such a cold night. It sounds like a small thing, but to him it was huge—his mom got it for him.

Mikey’s mom had been sick for as long as he could remember. She used to have a hard time getting out of bed most days and leaving the house was almost unheard of. But during the past year or so she’d started getting better. She was up and doing things. She even started going grocery shopping with Mikey’s help. He would hop out of the car and run around to her side of the car so she could hold his shoulder to steady herself for the walk into the store. She gave Mikey his first birthday party that year (age 6), with hats, presents, cake, everything. But the greatest moment came just a few months ago at school, as his class walked single file into the library. As he walked past the check-out desk he heard a “pssst”. He looked over to see his mom behind the desk. She was volunteering at the school. That was amazing! He was so proud of her that day. Things had changed so much.

Mikey remembered the bad times when he and his two sisters and two brothers had no adult supervision during the day. The oldest sister was married and out of the house. It should have been fun. But for the youngest it wasn’t. His siblings paired off--2nd oldest daughter and oldest son {Marge and Cal} versus 3rd daughter and 2nd son {Marion and Don}. They battled about almost everything. The one thing that united them was their apparent dislike for Mikey. The torment came in different forms—physical and mental. For several years they had Mikey convinced they mistreated him because he was adopted (he wasn't, but some of them believed he was). Their parents put a stop to that after Mikey embraced the thought and started searching for his real family. Mikey often had nightmares and yelled in his sleep, but took some enjoyment from the fact that his brothers got in trouble for that. Their father assumed the two older boys were causing it, and in a way they were. But just as seeing his mom at school was the high point of his life at that time, the low point (for now) involved her too. Last year she had to attend a wedding. As she got ready, Mikey was fascinated by the sight of her out of bed and putting on makeup. After watching for a while, he asked if she would go to his wedding someday. Her response stunned him. She said, “I’ll be dead long before then.” He pretended that didn’t upset him.

But those days were over. His mom was better and that changed everything. At first, Mikey worried about her when he started school. He had a hard time paying attention while others took their turns in the reading circle—he was lost when his turn snuck up on him. But when he got home his mom was always okay. He started to relax and do better in school. His teacher moved him into a more challenging reading group. His mom could take care of herself now and was taking care of him too.

Mikey had a smile on his face as he drifted off to sleep that night. He was nice and warm under his blankets and thinking about his chance to play in the snow tomorrow. He had no idea what problems would blow into his life along with the blizzard. He didn’t know it would be a long time before he smiled again. New lows awaited him.